♥ May 29th, 2012
me: why did you just reblog that from them
me: i literally just reblogged that
me: you're following both of us so why'd you reblog it from them and not me
me: is it because you don't like me
me: is it because i'm fat
♥ May 28th, 2012
mum: why are there finger prints on the tv screen?
me:
me:
me:
me:
me:
mum: you've been stroking the actors' faces again haven't you
♥May 28th, 2012
when adults comment on your status but their comment is totally irrelevent to what you said
your status will be like
going to a concert with friends!!!!!111
and said adult will be like
hi jimmy how are you i saw your brother today he’s getting so big tell your mom hi for me xxx -betsy
(Source: graceslick-, via rawrimazebra)
♥ May 26th, 2012
me: *blink*
parents: OH MY GOD YOU NEED AN EXTREME ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT I'M THE PARENT YOU'RE THE CHILD THAT'S HOW THIS WORKS I DONT KNOW WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE BUT YOU ARE COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL DO YOU LIKE HAVING NICE THINGS DO YOU LIKE HAVING A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD THEN START APPRECIATING IT AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM WASH THE WINDOWS LICK THE DIRT OFF THE KITCHEN FLOOR DO I LOOK LIKE YOUR MAID NO
♥May 25th, 2012
The fact that there’s over 7.2 billion people in the world and not even one of them is taking one for the team by dating me is extremely unacceptable
♥ May 23rd, 2012
You’re like: What do I say?
“Oh my God, Who am I?”
♥ May 23rd, 2012
friend: someone told me you look like an owl
me: who?
the whole class bursts into a roaring flame of laughter. tears start to fall from their eyes from laughing so hard. the principal walks in the room and slaps his knee. the local animals come in and create waves of laughter. god is laughing so hard he cant breathe. jesus starts clapping his hands and cracking up. the laughter dies down after about 2 hours, and everybody goes home with the memory of the funniest joke they've ever heard.
